now this smile has a bitter curve, and now these eyes r unenchanted

who says punk can't write meaningful lyrics?? hey jamin something like so?? actually it looked way better in person i'm just not photogenic in the least. so as usual i should be sleeping right now. i can't find sleep. i've been averaging 5 hours a night the past couple weeks. in my mind i'm thining i can just train myself to get used to that amount of sleep. man i'm stupid. its just not working for me. my friend of mine pointed out the fact that i am a bum, and as such i need at least a solid 13 hours of sleep or so. haha.

the weekend wasn't too shabby. shabby is my new word. it rhymes with abby. so ppl ask me "how's abby?" and and i say "not too shabby" its my clever lil thing i say.....can u tell this lack of sleep is catching up yet?? haha actually probably not, the sad part is most of the time i'm normally like this. back to my weekend. friday i played volleyball...managed to cut open my ankle in the same akward area the the previous week (remind me to stop sliding and diving all over the tile gym floor) and had a well...we'll say "interesting" smoothie.

theres been far too much drama. go figure. drama, cuz u know i as well as most of the world never deal with it *sarcasm*. i've been terribly worried, i really ought to stop that. take some of my own advice. worrying does u no good unless it moves u to action to try and fix the reason ur worrying. unfortunatly i can't do anything right now, i'm helpless. so i'm trying hard to just not sweat it until the time comes to sweat it. kinda hard, my stomach burns and i don't sleep. but things will be swell soon. that or i'm gonna run away and never come back.....hopefully the swell soon thing will happen.

sunday was awesome. i love ripon!! my friend josh is going off to bethel so there was a going away party for him. every1 up there is so awesome. haha imagine like 30 ppl casually marching thru the streets following 2 guys with guitars to a park. such good times. my new friend melissa aka mo and i tried to dismantle the playground a bit (to make it less restrictive and more fun) but josh made us stop. and there was football!!!......which i didn't play. : ( heartbreaking. my hand had been hit by a baseball earlier so it was kinda useless at the moment, no good for football, i still have an imprint of the stitching of the baseball in my right palm, i'm beginning to wonder if it will ever leave me. there was a minor fight between spencer atom and i and somehow i accidentally ended up elbowing josh in the stomach pretty bad...i thought he was atom!! oops. anyways a jolly good time but i really must try and find some sleep. and as for the rest of u sleep deprived ppl reading this far past ur bedtime, get some sleep, u most likely deserve it.