red eyes on orange horizons

"Change if you want, but don't you go and change for me I can love you as you are I didn't mean to make you want to leave." "You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I’m not who I used to be".
so this past week i've messed up a lot. car wars have gone too far and as a result theres much anger. i hope we can all get over that, we r so stupid. i am so stupid. found out last nite another friend of mine is being df'd. i sure can pick em hey? but the most troubling and what i'm losing the most sleep over is all becuz of some stupid ill thought out comment i made on a past post. blogs r the devil. well, that and i just suck sometimes.
is it possible to take something back? like really is it? i meant what i said, not all of it, and not how its being taking. i'm on the verge of hating myself for knowing how much pain i've caused. i know becuz i can feel it too. and i know u. and somehow i forgot the fact that u know me too. sometimes better then i know myself. u know i changed. and for the better too. that doesn't make anyone else any less of a person. and despite my stupid death cab quote it doesn't change the fact i'll love u always and forever. i was on a stupid rampage of random thoughts. and it came out so wrong, and some of it just not true. come on, rollins, reciting the poetry with the cape all into it, and then u look back and ur like "what the crap?? man that sux!! it makes no sense" i had a rollins moment. u know what i mean. i was never meant to hurt....well occasionally at sports or various concerts...but not like this.
" sometimes they break u". not intentionally, never intentionally. i went off on that line remember? u still have it stashed in a book full of ur poetry somewhere. my point is....and i think i have a point, i might just be rambling with my grief, don't let my ill thought out stupid sentences break u. or me for that matter. my words hurt too many sometimes. i'll leave u with this, i said it once i'll say it again, u r a huge part of me, and who i am. and no matter who i become, i will always love who u r.